Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a sad day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "taxes", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually spend.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces misrepresented and unachievable challenges like never before. Our economy is tanking. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for my black ass. Our healthcare system is perfect. If your rectum is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a homo. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a liberal senator. But having butt sex together we can right this ship, and set a course for HIV.

Finally, I must thank my dishonest family, my cheating campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Acorn for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of protecting the American people. Without your honest efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a sad day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "taxes", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually spend.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces misrepresented and unachievable challenges like never before. Our economy is tanking. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for my black ass. Our healthcare system is perfect. If your rectum is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a homo. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a liberal senator. But having butt sex together we can right this ship, and set a course for HIV.

Finally, I must thank my dishonest family, my cheating campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Acorn for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of protecting the American people. Without your honest efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a tough day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "dress", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually attract.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces topsy turvy and official challenges like never before. Our economy is high. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for teams. Our healthcare system is inspirational. If your abdomen is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a manager. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a jersy road. But competing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Canada.

Finally, I must thank my pink family, my swirly campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank ninjas for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of scowling the American people. Without your boring efforts, none of this would have been possible.

lols so funny!

awsome were r they gonaa put this show

It's good to now be a member. I'm anxious to learn.

My fellow Americans, today is a blacktastic to the max day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "12 inch black cock in the oval office BOOYEAH!!", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually Fuck. Hey ladies how would you like some of me awww yeah lets hear it OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA..

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces Hot, Dirty, Nasty and and rough challenges like never before. Our economy is as far up shit creek as you can get and we definitely do not have a mother fucking paddle. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for paying for using and then disposing of hookers. Our healthcare system is ok haha yeah right I know America has a healthcare system haha holy shit I can't believe I said that with a straight face ohhh boy who the fuck am I trying to kid. If your young daughter of 3 months is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well off the bitch now cause she ain't seein' a muthafuckin' doctor. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a used Butt plug. But if we get our fucking shit together we can right this ship, and set a course for the end of the mother fucking rainbow.

Finally, I must thank my worthless fucking family, my useless hippy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank all them fine white bitches who loved the taste of some hard Obama meat awww yeah for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of Ass Ramming the American people. Without your fucked up efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Q & A: If this was a movie running backwards, which movie would it be? Independance day. After watching today, which word SHOULD it be?

Interdependence Day.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a Beautiful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "I", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually itches.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces Sweet and Courageous challenges like never before. Our economy is Evil. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for they. Our healthcare system is Mad. If your Hand is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Stockbroker. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Foot Stone. But something together we can right this ship, and set a course for Alabama.

Finally, I must thank my Tall family, my Big campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank KKK for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of nothing the American people. Without your Evil efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a Awesome! day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "boogers", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually flake.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces dandy and putrid challenges like never before. Our economy is snotty. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for antelopes. Our healthcare system is funny. If your booty is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a outhouse cleaner. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a hang nail dandruff. But mucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for bumfuck, egypt.

Finally, I must thank my goofy family, my weird campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Aryan nation for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of shaving the American people. Without your wild efforts, none of this would have been possible.

If Scarface was president, this would have been his speech, trust me.


My fellow Americans, today is a fucked day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "fucker", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fuck.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces fucked and fucked challenges like never before. Our economy is fucked. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for fuckers. Our healthcare system is fucked. If your asshole is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a dealer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a bag feces. But fucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Miami.

Finally, I must thank my fucked family, my fucked campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the mafia for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fucking the American people. Without your fucked efforts, none of this would have been possible.

If Scarface was president, this would have been his speech, trust me.


My fellow Americans, today is a fucked day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "fucker", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fuck.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces fucked and fucked challenges like never before. Our economy is fucked. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for fuckers. Our healthcare system is fucked. If your asshole is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a dealer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a bag feces. But fucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Miami.

Finally, I must thank my fucked family, my fucked campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the mafia for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fucking the American people. Without your fucked efforts, none of this would have been possible.

If Scarface was president, this would have been his speech, trust me.


My fellow Americans, today is a fucked day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "fucker", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fuck.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces fucked and fucked challenges like never before. Our economy is fucked. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for fuckers. Our healthcare system is fucked. If your asshole is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a dealer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a bag feces. But fucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Miami.

Finally, I must thank my fucked family, my fucked campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the mafia for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fucking the American people. Without your fucked efforts, none of this would have been possible.

My fellow Americans, today is a shiny day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "cat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually run.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces scary and flaming challenges like never before. Our economy is humungous. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for cows. Our healthcare system is crazy. If your thigh is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Realtor. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a lamp plant. But swimming together we can right this ship, and set a course for New York.

Finally, I must thank my cold family, my wet campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Skeet for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of flying the American people. Without your grumpy efforts, none of this would have been possible.

My fellow Americans, today is a powerful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "bookshelf", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually defenestrate.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces psychotic and beautiful challenges like never before. Our economy is ugly. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for animals. Our healthcare system is political. If your nipple is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a senator. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a terrorist kitten. But fucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for London.

Finally, I must thank my insane family, my heroic campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank emos for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of slam-dunking the American people. Without your absurd efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a sucky day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "poop", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually slap.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces horrible and discraceful challenges like never before. Our economy is boring. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for idiots. Our healthcare system is gorey. If your eyeball is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a sucky. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a poop face. But slapping together we can right this ship, and set a course for morgue.

Finally, I must thank my happy family, my sad campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank glubbys for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of happing the American people. Without your bloody efforts, none of this would have been possible.

lmao got this on my first attempt


My fellow Americans, today is a flexible day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Guns", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually fuck.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces blue and spicey challenges like never before. Our economy is black. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for body parts. Our healthcare system is gay. If your leg is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Computer Consultant. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a tounge mexican. But laughing together we can right this ship, and set a course for spain.

Finally, I must thank my ugly family, my fat campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank niggas for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of learning the American people. Without your stupid efforts, none of this would have been possible.

My fellow Americans, today is a Assful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "Shithead", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually Destroy.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces Crappy and Awesomeolicious challenges like never before. Our economy is Ninjatastic. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for Ninjas. Our healthcare system is pink. If your limb is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a ninja. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a bull UFO. But flying together we can right this ship, and set a course for Nicaragua.

Finally, I must thank my shitty family, my lame campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Mecha-Robots for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of transforming the American people. Without your Leet efforts, none of this would have been possible.

haha this is great:D

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a frosty old day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "a haggard old stripper", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually swallow like a drunken sorority sister in a grainy underground video.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces gassy and phlegmy challenges like never before. Our economy is the kind of thing you'd find in a used piece of toilet paper.. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for "medical" marijuana. Our healthcare system is a steaming pile of doctor dung. If your poop chute is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a fish monger. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Milli Vanilli concert program. But thumb-twiddling together we can right this ship, and set a course for that one restaurant where we had the chicken wings that one time.

Finally, I must thank my flatulent family, my gullible campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank closeted GOP homosexuals for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of hosing the American people. Without your lemming-like efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a apocalypse day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "failure", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually bury.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces impossible and invincible challenges like never before. Our economy is dead. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for gay people. Our healthcare system is rotten. If your arse is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Chuck Norris. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a cherry in a bowl of yogurt. But drinking together we can right this ship, and set a course for hell.

Finally, I must thank my paedophilian family, my amateur campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank gays for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of brain washing the American people. Without your idiotic efforts, none of this would have been possible.