A good movie poster is a hard thing to pull off: It must convey the emotional mood of a scene and summarize the plot of the film, while still drawing in the passing theater-goers’ eye at the same time. It truly is a lost art. But you know who found it? Ice-T. The man’s face is a thesaurus, his scowl is a novel, and his mustache is visual poetry. Nothing conveys more than Ice-T's floating head on a movie poster, and here’s exactly what it says:

Kept

Their sex games have no boundaries…
 

What his expression says: Why these white people fuckin’ inside my head?!
 

The Guardian

Fear for your life, fight for your soul.
 

What his expression says: Ain’t this a bitch? Playin’ underdog to fuckin’ Mario Van Peebles and his tiny, greasy dreads. What product you use in your hair, Mario, Jerry Curl cooking oil?

Out Kold

In a world of gangstas and hustlers, there’s only one way out…
 

What his expression says: Man, don’t Tommy Lister look like a ghetto Iguana? Hahaha! Shit! Don’t he?!

Leprechaun in the Hood

Evil’s in the House
 

What his expression says: Shit, do I play a hat this whole movie?

Stealth Fighter

The ultimate street fight at 50,000 feet.
 

What his expression says: Look at how we all lined up. This shit’s like a B-list Oreo.

‘R Xmas

Dual identities, dueling dealers, and an overdose of greed…
 

What his expression says: This movie’s title spelled so ghetto, even I don’t know what it means…we black, man, not retarded. Use some damn vowels.

Below Utopia

He was a hired professional, but this was personal.
 

What his expression says: You see this? You see what I’m rockin’ here? The Black Man’s Ascot. I call this shit ‘the Blackscot.’

Shot Down

A film by Kurt Voss (who is not creative enough to come up with a tagline)
 

What his expression says: I cannot fucking believe Luke Perry wore the same do-rag as me.

Final Voyage

Set a course for terror.
 

What his expression says: I’m gettin’ pretty damn sick of movies about two white people vs. Ice-T.

The Alternate

Kill the president, kill the hostages, escape. A great idea!
 

What his expression says: Man, they lyin’! I don’t see me nowhere! Who is that motherfucker? Look like a store brand Ice Cube. Seriously, what the fuck? Did I forget a whole movie?

Trespass

They’re in the wrong place, at the wrong time…
 

What his expression says: Why did I dress like this was Interview with the Black Vampire? The ‘90s was some stupid shit.

Surviving the Game

The rules are simple: Kill or be killed
 

What his expression says: Nobody sees nothin’ wrong with this movie? White people huntin’ black people? That’s cool? Alright, shit. Gotta make rent somehow.

On the Edge

Nobody escapes the streets.
 

What his expression says: Don’t look at Gary Busey, don’t look at GaryBusey, don’tlookatGaryBusey, don’tlookatGaryBusey…

Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang

It takes a certain boy to be a superhero!
 

What his expression says: I’m high as shit right now, an’ I don’t mean to sound paranoid but is that…is Gary Busey back there? Is he a… mountain? Motherfucker, do not tell me I have to climb Mount Busey in this movie.

You should read more from Robert Brockway at his own site, I Fight Robots. Don't worry, you can trust me; I'm in italics.