The Complete History of Andy Dick's Ankle Bracelet
So what's the deal with Andy Dick and his stylish, state-issued ankle bracelet? It's better if Andy explains things for himself. The following is from Andy, in his own words...
While I've had this alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet on since last year, I haven't left the house much. I need to be in my own bed every night so the modem picks up the days' readings. When people see my ankle accessory while I'm at the gym, in the sauna, or when i simply lift up my pant leg to show it (and my rock hard calves) off, they always think I'm on "house arrest." And, like I said, I've treated it like some sort of house arrest this whole time. What's the point of going out anyhow? It buzzes like a vibrating cell phone every 20 minutes, at very ripe times, I might add. Like during a "sad" moment while watching Benjamin Butthole in a crowded theater waking everybody up, or while I'm sleeping in my own bed, or while i'm 'entertaining' nude guests in my bedroom, and they hear it and think i've whipped out a once-shiny copper-plated vibrator which is now quite green and tarnished from years of abuse (the box said "golden" rod). But my point is, since everyone thinks i'm on house arrest anyway, i created a little show called HOUSE ARREST WITH ANDY DICK for Atom. I hope you enjoy it. I'd like to thank you for watching them... but i'm not going to.
p.s. I'm kidding about the dildo. I've never owned one, never used one before, don't need one with this thing...
