Allstate Insurance revealed an interesting theory this week: Regular video game playing can boost reflexes, mental acuity, and memory – all good things for driving – so why not make old people, with their notoriously deadly driving skills, play video games in exchange for a discount on their insurance? 

But don’t worry; Grandpa isn't going to start suddenly Pwning you at Halo for the prospect of sweet, sweet coupons; they’ve actually commissioned specially designed games from Posit Science that improve driving performance.

The first pilot game released, called Jewel Diver, presents a series of jewels on screen in specific locations, and then covers them with fish. If the senior citizens can find all of the jewels, they advance to the next level where the difficulty and number of choices increase. Whereas if they can’t find all of their jewels, they probably just tell their grandkids that the nurses are stealing from them again.

Posit Science was contacted for this program, because they’ve also developed several other games for similar incentive programs in different fields. They don’t specifically mention what these games are, or what fields they’re in though, so I am forced to theorize:


Rascal Kart: Slow Down Fer Christ’s Sakes!

 

Rascal Kart: Slow Down Fer Christ's Sakes! comes pre-packaged with motion-controlling extra short handlebars for that real, authentic Rascal feeling (Wicker Basket attachment sold separately.) Race against nine computer controlled opponents through twelve twisted, thrill-a-minute courses such as: The Market, The Grocery Store, The Mall, The IHOP, and many more! Hurl weapons, obstacles, traps and vaguely racist old-timey slang at your fellow racers as you dash (sort of) to the finish! Online play not included because let’s face it, you don’t even really know what that is!

Dance Dance Revolution: Charleston Edition

 

Set to the swingin-est Swing and the jazziest Jazz, Dance Dance Revolution: Charleston Edition is jam packed with over 3 songs - which are all you ever really listened to anyway - and one entire dance (the best dance!) On-screen prompts let you know how your steps are doing, with comforting, period authentic slang ranging from the insulting “Aw, Raspberries!” all the way up to the epic “Fulla’ Beans!” Beat it on “Hipbreaker” mode, and you can even unlock a second dance, The Lindy Hop! Be careful, though, they don’t call it Hipbreaker for nothing! (It breaks hips.)

Organ Hero

 

Rock out to your favorite hymnals, church music, and…more hymnals! Organ Hero lets you take to the stage (or at least the two foot tall raised platform to the left of the pastor) in this exciting music extravaganza! Choose from four different squat, blue-haired, floral-print-wearing avatars as you get 'Nearer, My God, To Thee!' Organ Hero couldn’t be a more authentic church-going experience if it came with stale Rice Krispies Treats and Protestant guilt! WHICH IT DOES!!!
 

Grand Theft Autocarriage

The premier name in sandbox gameplay, Grant Theft Autocarriage tells the story of Neil Stevens, former convicted felon, just trying to get by in his twilight years. With true non-linear mechanics, how you play is entirely up to you! Constantly regret the many mistakes you’ve made in the past, sob quietly when the guilt wakes you, try to get a job despite your criminal record, or just get drunk in your recliner on Christmas day and yell at the grandkids so they won’t turn out like you! You can’t get any more real than Grand Theft Autocarriage… because YOU WEREN’T THERE AND YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT WAS SO YOU CAN’T JUDGE.

 

Read more from Robert at his site I Fight Robots.